Ramona Gonzales, digital advertising and technology consultant, packed up after 22 years in New York City and headed west to her happy place on the beach of Southern California. From Hermosa Beach she headed farther south to San Diego, where the culture turned out to be a far cry from NYC and Manhattan. Listen in as this California native tells stories of travel, moving more than once across the country in pursuit of her dreams, and ultimately moving three times in three years with her Brooklyn-born cat, Rocco.
Growing up in Northern California
Traveling to Mexico City as a kid
Learning Spanish
Parenting magazine
Moving to New York City
Getting mugged in NYC on her first night there
Latina magazine
Jennifer Lopez - JLo - on the cover of the first Latina magazine
Living in Chelsea, Manhattan
Moving to her happy place - from New York City to Hermosa Beach in SoCal, Southern California
Moving with a cat, Rocco
Flying cross-country, not driving
Moving from Hermosa Beach to San Diego
The surprises and trials of living in San Diego
About Ramona Gonzales
Digital Advertising & Technology Consultant
Ramona Gonzales Consulting
Ramona Gonzales is a digital media veteran who started her career as a magazine editor. After nearly two decades of working for publishers, digital agencies, and technology companies—and active participation in industry initiatives—she launched her consulting company in 2009. Her clients encompass digital publishers, ad tech companies, and industry organizations such as the IAB, IAB Tech Lab, the Digital Advertising Alliance, and the Association of National Advertisers. Her consultancy provides services and solutions that are infused with revenue, data, and yield management principles and tactics, as well as industry best practices.
Before then, she consulted for online publishers and media companies for Microsoft Advertising and Rapt (acquired by Microsoft in 2008). Prior to that, as Director of Digital Media, she led LPI Media's digital media operations, P&L, strategic direction, business goals, and product development for four years. (LPI Media, the publisher of Out and The Advocate magazines, was acquired by PlanetOut and subsequently by HereTV Media.)
In the late 90s, Ramona oversaw the assessment, definition, and organization of digital content for major clients at Ogilvy Interactive (Director of Content Strategy in the Information Architecture Group). Her first foray into the digital arena was in 1997 as one of two producers who created SesameStreet.com. She moved to New York City in 1996 to launch Latina magazine, the first national magazine for Hispanic women in the US. Prior to Latina, she was an editor at Parenting magazine in San Francisco.
Ramona earned a BA in Journalism (minor in Women Studies) at San Jose State University.
Connect
Ramona Gonzales: www.ramonagonzales.com
Music by Eves Blue and used by permission.
Moving Along - Moving to Her Happy Place - Ramona Gonzales
Christi: [00:00:00] Our guest today on Moving Along is Ramona Gonzales, a digital advertising and technology consultant. Now living in San Diego, we met more than 20 years ago in New York city. Both of us living in Chelsea, Ramona, thank you for being here today as Moving Along's very first guests up for its very first episode.
Ramona: Well thank you for having me. You know, how much I love to talk. So I'm ready for the first question.
Christi: Okay.
You were born in San Bernardino, about 60 miles east of Los Angeles and moved 400 miles north to San Jose. When you were just five years old, what did travel and moving mean to you? Growing up?
Ramona: Not much. I mean, we did some traveling when I was little, but most of the summer vacations were we're driving back down [00:01:00] south to hang out with my grandparents and my cousins. My parents took us to Mexico city for a month and we stayed with a family and Mexico city. It was. Three-bedroom apartment. The four of us stayed in one room.
Their 16 year old son had his bedroom and then the parents who are retired had their bedrooms. So and then they had a live in maid who had a room on the roof of their apartment. So that was my first time, really away from home for a period of time, we did some sidetrack. But mostly, we just went to the museums for four days in a row and we ate dinner with them almost every night and breakfast.
So yeah, it was quite the experience.
Christi: Did you speak Spanish growing up? I
Ramona: spoken a lot better than I do now. My parents spoken at home and I was pretty fluent as a child when we were in Mexico for a full month.
Christi: Wow. So the experience in Mexico city was really where you learned to [00:02:00] speak
Ramona: Spanish conversation.
Yes, but if you know what they say, if you don't use it, you lose it.
Did you drive down there?
No, we flew. We actually drove down. I think I'm not sure. Somewhere, south, maybe it was San Diego. We flew to Mexico
city.
Christi: Was that your first plane?
Ramona: You know
what I don't know. I don't think so. My mom likes to tell the story of, I don't know if we're flying, they're flying home, but this young girl had a really bad migraine on the flight, really bad.
She was vomiting and she was in excruciating pain. And since my mom had had migraines, I knew exactly what to do. So my mom said that I insisted on standing up next to her seat, helping her for like hours and hours on the plane, on the plane. Yeah. So I must've felt comfortable enough on a plane to help somebody else as opposed to, I don't know, freak out, but I don't remember that, but my mom likes telling me that story.
Christi: You [00:03:00] worked for parenting magazine in San Francisco.
Ramona: Yep right out of college. My first real job, as I said,
Christi: And then you moved to New York to start Latina magazine.
Ramona: Yes. Latina magazine was the first magazine for Hispanic women in the U S it was bilingual monthly. And our first cover was Jennifer Lopez.
Christi: Wow. Was it was that you're doing, getting Jennifer Lopez J lo on the cover?
Ramona: No. Oh no, no, no. She was already booked. I think when I got the job, she had just done Selena, so she was just getting hot.
Christi: And that was in the late nineties.
Ramona: That was 1996? Yes. Mid, mid nineties. Correct.
Christi: You weren't mugged on your first night in New York. What happened
Ramona: was so when I moved to New York, it wasn't that I stepped off the plane. It was my first visit. Right. So when I worked a Parenting magazine among other duties, [00:04:00] I was the toy editor. So I would come to New York every February for Toy Fair. My boyfriend at the time had lived and worked in York For many many years and his sister and brother-in-law and their two young kids lived in in the upper west side on Amsterdam and a hundred and third And I had stated there at their place many times when I first got off the plane, you know, I had arranged to stay with them for a few days until I found a sublet.
It was snowing pretty heavily. I arrived in the evening. I went out to get the village voice, to look for an apartment. That's how long ago it was. I was walking back. I didn't have a purse. I actually put my wallet in a bag with candy that I had gotten for the girls who I know. You know, for years, and as I was going in back into their apartment, it was one of those apartments where you use a key, you go in and then you have to use another key to continue into the [00:05:00] hallway.
Right? So this guy came in after me and I got stuck. You know, in between the outside and the full insight of the building he said he had a gun but he never pulled it out So I figured he probably we didn't have a gun I kind of just argued with him because I had just landed and all my credit card I had $40 in cash I didn't care about the money but my driver's license Like I was just starting over like I'm needed that stuff you know I didn't want to spend the next three days he's trying to get a driver's license And so I just kept telling him I don't know Anything I just took a couple bucks down to get some candy I don't even have my wallet with me but because the wallet was in the small bag of candy I invited him to search me and he kind of patted me down and he couldn't find a wallet So we gave up
just like that
Yeah it was I don't even know how it was because I was adrenaline was surging and I was super calm Like I didn't scream I didn't freak out I was just like I'm sorry You can check [00:06:00] I do not What you're looking for I have no money no credit card no wallet And the meantime I'm holding it The bag of candy right in front of his face
Oh man
All it was so so I don't know how long it was It could have been three minutes It could have been seven minutes I have no idea As soon as he left my knees literally started knocking together I was like wow That's where that saying comes from I got inside My hands were shaking so bad I couldn't even use the key to get into the apartment I had to it Tarbell and the brother-in-law opens the door.
And he's what, what, what happened? How come you didn't, you didn't use your key. And I said, it just got mugged. So we called the police. I drove around looking for him. I looked at mugshot books. Until it was just totally depressing, you know, one page after another of young African-American men. So I was just like, forget it.
Christi: Welcome to New York, right.
Ramona: Oh, well then you got even better.
So then I found a sublet for six [00:07:00] weeks, long story short. I ended up having to call the police on the guy I sublet from because he came home. He came over to the apartment one night and tried to get me apartment with his key because we had had words and he seemed totally crazy. I changed the locks.
Thank God, because it was 10 30 at night. I was in bed and he was trying to get into the studio and then I called the cops. So then they came over and that was the whole thing. So, yeah,
Christi: that was pretty savvy
Ramona: first six weeks. I know people say you were a new Yorker before you even moved here.
I moved into my real apartment that I was at for about two years, the studio on 19th and Seventh. [00:08:00] And that's where I met, you know, everyone at Claire. The first night I moved in there, I went there for dinner with a book, sat at the bar and left around 2:00 AM with like four or five phone numbers.
Donald Michael Patrick.
Christi: And we're still friends with all these same people. That was a pretty special place.
Ramona: And it was a special time too.
I did about a year or so in the Upper West Side, which I was totally miserable. And then that's when I heard about the, the one bedroom at 16th and Seventh. And that's where I lived for gosh, at least 19 years.
Christi: When did you start flying back to California to visit the big blue beach house in Manhattan Beach?
Ramona: I think I first went there for Thanksgiving. I want to say in 2013 maybe. And then [00:09:00] I went there again a couple of times in 2014. I started going there regularly. I want to say either 2015 or 2016, when my aunt got cancer again. And so that's when I started going back regularly because she loves the beach house and no one ever used it.
So when I would go there I'd clean it up, clean the deck, get flowers, go grocery, shopping, get supplies. And they'd drive from San Bernardino and yeah, then we'd have more family come and then I just started finding a great flights. And then you and Nan were available to watch Rocco pretty much whenever.
So it just became. Every two or three weeks I would go for seven or 10 days. And I think that lasted at least a year and a half or two years,
Christi: Was the beach always your happy place?
Ramona: I always, always [00:10:00] love the beach growing up.
I went to Santa Cruz, but, well, that was when I was a teenager growing up. Didn't really go to the beach. My parents weren't outdoor people. But when I was a teenager, we drive over the hill to Santa Cruz. And then when I moved to New York, I didn't go to the beach much when I lived in San Francisco. But when I moved to New York and went out to the Hamptons.
It's nice. The beaches are very nice there and there's parts that are absolutely gorgeous and beautiful, but they're pretty dune-y you know, there's a lot of dunes. There's no rocks. They're just very different from California beaches and California, beaches are different too. Manhattan Beach is very different from La Jolla, right. Is like you're in Tahiti. You know what I mean? But having a house, having the option of going to this house that's right on the beach, right on the strand, [00:11:00] right by the pier walking distance with all these restaurants, 10 to 15 minutes away from LAX it was heaven.
It was just heaven and I just found that when I was there, I felt. Calmer more peaceful. If I was going through something, whether it was an anxiety attack, or frustration with whatever was happening in my life, I would just go down to the beach and take a walk. And it was so transformational for me just to be able to watch the pelicans.
I would just sit there and watch the pelicans for like 40 minutes. And it was just really sometimes hard to describe. I was just really, really happy. And it was strange for me because before I started going into the big blue beach house, when I would visit California, [00:12:00] couldn't wait to get back to New York.
I mean, I was just itching, . These feelings of massive homesickness would just roll over me. And when I got to JFK, got in a cab and I saw that skyline. I just was like, I'm home. And then it started to change. You know, when I got to New York, I was happy to be back. I was happy to see Rocco, I was happy to see my friends, but I think you. You may remember how many times I missed my flight to come home.
So yeah, I just felt, wow. One of the main reasons why I decided to move back was that we lost the big blue beach house. My aunt was still alive and I wanted to continue to help care for her. And I didn't have any idea that she would die less than a year after I moved there, but[00:13:00] I'm still glad I moved.
I'm glad that I was there for her and my mom and, and my cousins
Christi: What were some of the things that surprised you when you moved back?
Ramona: It was a much larger culture shock for me than when I moved from California to New York. There was no culture shock. When I moved back to California, remember I had grown up in Northern California and moved from San Francisco.
Northern California is much different than Southern California, but I didn't count on how. Different. It was, I didn't realize it. And again, Manhattan Beach and Hermosa Beach where I, it up when I moved for two years you know, I lived a block, a half a block from the strand, from the beach again, I was living by another pier.
It was amazing. It was a community I already felt comfortable there. I knew people there. I had ridden my bike back and forth between Manhattan Beach and Hermosa Beach for years. So that wasn't that bad. I mean, I was used to living [00:14:00] around really wealthy people because of New York. But at the same time Manhattan Beach and even more so Hermosa Beach was very laid back. People weren't, you know, honking at you if you were driving too slow because there's kids all around and people are walking to the beach and people riding their bikes, San Diego. is a whole different story. And I know that LA isn't great. I mean, a lot of my experiences with people in Southern California, personally, professionally have been very unpleasant and disappointing.
They're flaky. They care only about themselves. It's very hard to find another person that you can connect with us in LA. But I managed to find, you know, decent people in Manhattan beach and in . Hermosa beach San Diego was just, I, I spent a full year just miserable. It's very Republican.[00:15:00]
I moved here right at the beginning of the pandemic and people are awful here. They won't wear masks. They're just awful. They're they're mean , I told my mom , I have two choices. Homicide or suicide.
Christi: And what did your mom say to that?
Ramona: She just laughed.
Christi: Well, was it the five swimming pools in the apartment complex if it wasn't the people?
Ramona: Well, so no. So my worst experiences were when I first moved to San Diego to this brand new complex, the apartment I rented, no one had ever lived there before and everything was nice. It was nice for a while for a couple months, beautiful pool, but they finally were, you know, were able to open up and but they.
They were AirBnB so you had people who [00:16:00] weren't even living there, going to the pool and just bringing beer bottles to the pool. And it was just awful. And then people wouldn't wear masks in the elevators. And then when I refused to let them in the elevator, there was profanities, there was vitriol.
I had never experienced in New York, even from the craziest person. One guy tried to get into the elevator with his bike, small elevator, and I just refused. And he told me that he hopes that everyone I know who has COVID dies,
Christi: charming,
Ramona: so charming and you know, more and more, I just became like a frat house, like spring break.
There was retail space on the ground level of the, of the building. Of course there was no one renting it because of COVID. There was a gym that was below my apartment on the fourth floor. [00:17:00] So because they weren't able to open, but they started holding classes outside right below my balcony.
The instructors were all miked up. They brought really huge speakers. And then they started having two classes in a row and management didn't do anything about it. Cause they were, you know, trying to make their, their tenants happy. I don't know if they were making money, but every Tuesday and Thursday, I had to leave my apartment because they would start setting up at four 30.
So I had to leave my apartment at four 30 and then I, I was able to come home at eight.
I had to put up with
every four seconds with the music and watching people, not wearing [00:18:00] masks and not socially distancing. And it became a big thing. I had to get a lawyer. I had to get, you know, an early termination agreement. Yeah. And then I moved here to this lovely resort living complex. And I can't even begin to tell you what's wrong with this place.
I mean, I'm not so much worried about the COVID thing, especially now that I'm vaccinated because I can get to my apartment without having to get into an elevator. You know, I go to the pool it's it's outdoors. It's fine. That's not really the issue. It's the issue that the behavior of the other residents vary from highly inappropriate, like wearing, floss, underwear, thong, phone bathing suit, rather with their butt cheeks hanging out, you know, and twerky against a man's butt while there's kids in the pool.
Christi: So, so let me ask you though, why not move back to [00:19:00] her Mosa beach?
Ramona: I can't afford it if I could.
I would, if I could move on. I don't know. I mean, I really, I really want to move back to New York, but I can't afford it. I don't even know where I would live. I don't think I can handle the weather now that I've, you know, I'm out here because the weather and the beaches are just amazing. And of course, Shane and you know, the boys are here and I get to see them often, which is fantastic.
And of course I'm closer to my mom and she's not going to be able to, she would never be able to travel to New York at this point. So there's a lot of reasons why I should stay in California. I just feel like an alien here. I have met some, of course it's not across the board. And I have met some decent people in this complex.
But they're few and far between and they, and they feel the same way I do, of course, because they're thinking caring human [00:20:00] beings. Of course, the two women I met that I really liked they're French. So, and then the other, the other really cool woman I met she's from Canada. So there you go.
Christi: You find the international others , where you can feel comfortable there, but San Diego is really at this point.
Ramona: Yeah.
It's a, it's not a culinary wasteland. Food is amazing. There's great restaurants and great food. But in terms of intelligence, in terms of consideration, in terms of, you know, wanting to do the right thing for your fellow human being wasteland, Wasteland.
Christi: But you're going to stay put
Ramona: for the time being, I want to say, here's the thing about this complex and where I live in San Diego.
I live in a central location so I [00:21:00] can get pretty much anywhere in 15 or 20, 25 minutes. I can get to LA Jolla Cove, LA Jolla shores in 20 twenty-five minutes. I can get downtown in 15 minutes. I can get to Ocean Beach in 20 minutes
I'm looking to start horseback riding lessons, which would be a lot cheaper here than say New York or Connecticut. If my rent is cheaper than what I would be paying in New York now for two bedroom, two bathroom in unit washer, dryer, dishwasher, huge veranda. I mean, my veranda is, is bigger than like square footage than Tom's studio.
Christi: Tom is your friend, our mutual friend in New York. Who was your neighbor at the apartment at 16th and Seventh
Ramona: correct? He lived right down the hall from me and he used to call us will and grace, but yeah, he's, he's one of my best friends.
He's like family.
I swim a lot. Now. That's the other thing. The complex is gorgeous. The landscaping is gorgeous. There's Palm trees [00:22:00] everywhere, Bogan via the, the, the main pool area.
Again, huge lap pool, two lagoon pools cabanas outdoor showers, barbecues, three jacuzzis. I mean, it's just really, really nice. And I I've just started swimming a lot. I go early because it gets a little crazy when the assholes join, but and that's a good thing too. The kids, you know how much I love kids.
The kids are insane because their, the parents are insane. They don't discipline. They don't supervise one day I found six kids in the jacuzzi. One of them was a toddler who couldn't even speak yet.
Christi: Whoa, that can be dangerous
Ramona: there. Dangerous. And their parents were like all the way over on this other area with no line of sight.
Obviously I told them to get out and come back with an adult, but of [00:23:00] course in the mom, like gave me dirty looks for the next hour. But I really love the pool. So that's really nice. The kids love the pool. The first time the boys were here, Riley said to me, after about two hours, he said, Auntie Mona I'm tired.
Can we go back up to your room? I said, honey, I live here. It's not a hotel.
Christi: Explain who the kids are.
Ramona: So the kids, the boys are my goddaughter's sons. My goddaughter, I co-parented her since she was about two and a half. So she's like my daughter. So her kids are like my grandsons, but they call me auntie Mona.
And there are two identical twins who are eight and Riley is the oldest and he is 11 they're full of energy. And they're [00:24:00] obsessed with baseball. They've been little league for the last couple of seasons and they basically just live with a ball and bat in their hands. I mean, I took them to this park near the complex, and they hadn't brought any, any ball or bats or anything.
So we found a decent stick and a pine cone and they played baseball with that.
Christi: I love it. You always make fun times when kids are around.
I want to ask you about Rocco. How is Rocco doing? And it seems like he's made his own life transitions from being a Brooklyn stray to being your total devote, Hey, describe him for us and what it's been like, traveling and moving with Rocco.
Ramona: Extremely anxiety provoking because of his constitution, which you are very familiar with.
So for your listeners, my cat Rocco [00:25:00] is the epitome of a scarier. And he is very sensitive. He doesn't like strangers. The only people he basically loves in this world is me. My mom, Christi Nan and Tom, and maybe Alyssa, who used to watch him as well. Those are the only people he would ever come out for.
Now. He comes out with Anne is here because Anne isn't loud and she doesn't move fast. But when the kids are here, I just sit, sequester her head because they've freaked him out so badly that he's traumatized. Shane is afraid of him, which is ridiculous, but she's not a cat person at all, but she's afraid of him.
Now. The kids are kind of afraid of them. But as he's gotten older, he's gotten more cranky. More set in his ways he likes his schedules. But I have to say that he hasn't, been as bad as I thought it could be, like, I was freaked out about putting him on a plane [00:26:00] and he was, he was okay.
He didn't howl he didn't scream. The people sitting next to me, didn't even know I had a cat underneath my seat. And then when I moved from her most of beach to San Diego, he was okay.
But I do have to say what he does love and which is another reason why I couldn't drag him back to New York is he loves coming out on the veranda. So his, so his routine is breakfast in the morning. I let him out on the veranda and he spends a couple hours out there. Then he'll come in and then he'll sit near the ledge of the window where the hummingbird feeder is
Christi: hummingbird feeder that
Ramona: should hear the sound he makes
it's a sound that is very distinct. That is only for hummingbirds. It is hysterical. The other day he was chasing a June bug. So he just loves to be outside in [00:27:00] an outside area where he feels protected. Now, if there's a dog that walks by, he'll come running back in.
Christi: I want to know what the sound is that he makes for the hummingbird.
Ramona: It's so weird the first time he made it, like never heard that sound come out of you ever. I think. Like, he just wants to eat it, but he can't get through the window. And sometimes, sometimes if he's outside or even if he's inside, they'll hover right. Near him. They tease him and it's just so funny, but he just loves being outside now. But yeah, so he's, he's happy here.
Christi: Is there anything else you want to share stories or tips for other people who might be considering a big life transition or move?
Ramona: Oh gosh. I've learned so much about moving
Christi: I bet. And the fact that you moved on $2,000, right? That to me is just, [00:28:00] well, that
was the goal, right?
Ramona: That was the goal yesterday I looked back into my financial records for 2018 and it was even more depressing. I think I got double billed and that was in 2018. I don't know if there's anything I can do about it now, but it definitely was more than $2,000
Don't even get me started on the moves to San Diego. I just have so much stuff, Christi. I can't believe how much stuff I have for being a New Yorker. As, as single New Yorker at that,
Christi: I thought you were really going to sell everything.
Ramona: I did get rid of a lot of stuff, but the amount of clothes, shoes, and purses I have did not help,
Christi: but you know, a girl's got to do what a girl's gotta do.
Ramona: I know I have not worn any of those shoes since I left Manhattan. I can't even begin to think of when I can put on a pair of high heels. Oh, I know. I know. I, I wore my Jimmy. [00:29:00] Choo's just the, just the pumps the plain black pumps. I wore them in March. We went out to dinner for Shane's birthday. I wore them.
That was the first time. I think in three years I put on a pair of designer shoes.
Christi: Well, you have to figure out which pair you might be bringing back a
packing.
Ramona: No, it's any, it's more like flip-flops and sneakers.
What is it that glamorous Manhattan night that I used to be
close?
Christi: I think you'll find Manhattan is like chilled out a little bit too, since the pandemic and the lockdowns.
I'm seeing more sneakers. Let's put it that way.
Ramona: I'm excited about seeing the new Penn station.
Christi: Oh, I'll be very curious what you think of it.
Ramona: Okay. I heard it was really nice. Now I'm very, very intrigued and curious.
Christi: So, [00:30:00] Hey Ramona, I'm going to wrap this up. Okay.
Ramona: I told you I'm a talker.
Christi: I'm glad you are. And it's really been a pleasure. Thank you, Ramona, for sharing your stories of moving across country and moving three times in three years from New York to California
and then again from Hermosa Beach to San Diego, right?
Ramona: So I moved twice actually in one year,
Christi: right? Twice in one year, three times in three years. That's a lot for
anybody.
Ramona: I don't recommend it. That's one thing I do not recommend.
Christi: Don't move three times,
Ramona: three times in three years. Exactly.
Christi: You can read more about Ramona's work@wwwdotramonagonzales.com. That's R a M O N a G O N Z a L E [00:31:00] s.com. Thanks for listening.